Pregnancy and childbirth are truly beautiful milestones, moments we’re told to cherish forever. But let me break the silence for a moment and speak honestly: the postpartum phase can be mentally brutal, no matter who you are or where you live, especially when you’re surrounded by the wrong people. I’ve heard countless women share their painful postpartum experiences, and the common thread is almost always the same people making an already delicate period even harder with their unsolicited opinions.
I’ve faced my share of unasked-for advice and judgement, too. I learnt not to take it to heart, but not every woman can brush things off so easily. Postpartum is a phase of transformation where a woman grows into the role of a mother, learning, adapting, and healing. What she needs most is understanding, space, and support. Instead, many are met with criticism and interference.
In many Indian households, this interference is almost expected. Elders, sometimes even peers, feel entitled to comment on everything: how to hold the baby, how to feed the baby, and how to raise the baby. The most heartbreaking part is the body shaming directed at newborns. A lean baby becomes the mother’s fault. Milk production gets questioned. Babies are compared to other babies as if they’re products on a shelf. It’s shocking that children barely days old are subjected to this, and their mothers bear the brunt of the blame.
I’ve heard mothers recount painful stories, some hurt by in-laws, some by relatives, and some even by their own parents. What should be one of the most beautiful periods of a woman’s life often becomes one of the most traumatic.
Even in an age where information is easily accessible, these outdated, unsolicited “we raised kids too” remarks still persist. And they continue to feed into postpartum anxiety and depression more than people realise.
It’s long overdue for these voices to quiet down. Women need the strength and the permission to shut out the noise. Every mother deserves the freedom to learn her child, understand her rhythm, and raise her baby in her own way.
A mother will always find her way. She just needs the space to do it.
